Today marks the 25th anniversary of my birth!
25.
That's a number all right. It's the perfect square of 5 times 5, which is awesome because 5 is my favourite number! Why? I think it started years ago whenever someone would ask me a question involving a number, I would just hold my hand up, then I started saying 5, and well, there you go.
Also, my birthday lies on the 5th...hmm, thinking too much about numbers now. Let's get back to that one in particular.
A quarter of a century. Sounds pretty important or something when I write it like that. Geologically speaking, it's nothing. Astronomically speaking, even less so. But, to me, it's special.
All my birthdays are special. When I was in elementary school, it was the one day a year when I could count on friends being at my house. I lived far from town and it wasn't always easy for people to make the trip. But, my birthdays have always been a great excuse to get everyone out, plus gifts and cake and ice cream!
Since I first began university, my social life has pretty much exploded. I went from having some friends at home, guys and gals I liked but only hung out with infrequently, to having friends pretty much live at my house. I've had parties continue for days, and friends as comfortable in my own home as their own.
Birthdays are also special for me in the same way that New Year's day is for everyone else. I use them to evaluate myself, how I've been, how I am, and where I'm heading. Without even realizing it, I started having traditions. I wake up, no later than 10:30am, and take the chance to...well, to check myself out. I examine myself physically, and remember doing so the previous birthday. I compare, make sure I know myself as well as I think I do, and take that moment to be me, to be comfortable with how I am today.
So, how are things? Pretty well. I have a lot of work to do and will probably spend all of today doing it, having to delay the party until later in the month because I cannot really spare too much time, but still, I'm feeling good.
I have a family that loves me, and probably is a little mad at how infrequently I've been talking with them, but I promise, I'm working on it. My family is healthy, and for the most part, happy.
My friends are amazing, and again, for the most part, happy (I think). So many people in my life to inspire me and motivate me and keep me company, cook for me, and make me feel special. I'm very fortunate to have such a group of esteemed peers and family members.
My birthday is also awesome because it's the one day a year I am perfectly able to be honest with myself. This year, I'm getting two days. Today, and the day of my party, but whatever, I think it's fair.
I've been struggling with a lack of self-confidence for a long time. Since coming to university, that problem has become less and less, thanks to those I mentioned above, but it still pervades my psyche sometimes. Thankfully, I have a very honest, and caring support group. I have grown to trust myself and trust my friends and family. If I were even close to doing or saying anything stupid, I trust my brain or my heart to let me know. Even if I were in any doubt, I trust my friends to let me know. Even if they were nice, and I was foolish, I can trust them to still be my friend even after I did that silly thing.
Plus, life is an adventure, you might as well take a wrong turn now and then, could be fun!
I really wish I were graduating this year. I wish things had worked out that way, but perhaps it was for a good reason. I mean, it does work better for me now, but I do wish to be done this one part of my life completely. Still, I am moving forward, westward at least, and I am looking forward to trying something new.
I am not yet ready for Alberta, and to be honest, not sure if it's ready for me. I take and make awesome wherever I go, so that province better saddle up...you know, more than it probably already has, haha.
This has been a set of roaming thoughts, and I thank you for being with me, on the journey thus far. I plan to carry you in my thoughts and share all my exciting adventures with you as they develop.
Thanks for reading my semi-emotional rambling. To those I know personally, I look forward to seeing you soon. To those who don't, drop me a line, maybe we can be friends.
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